The Last Song.

I officially watched The Last Song two days ago. It’s been in my hard disk and it had used few hundred Megabytes of memory since I don’t know when. Yup it was not a new movie. But somehow I watched it since it’s adapted from the book written by my all time favourite author, Nicholas Sparks. Many people told me how boring the movie was, but for me it was just nice. I even cried hard. It’s just so heart-breaking. Whenever the subject of interest is family, then I couldn’t help myself other than completely being emotional and too immersed in the story, regardless of the plot. Maybe I just miss Abah so much. At the end, I learned that perhaps a more amiss, much scarcer feat; if not patience - is the state of being grateful. So here I am, being grateful for what I have. Alhamdulillah syukur.

Seventeen year-old Veronica “Ronnie” Miller’s life was turned upside-down when her parents divorced and her father moved from New York City to Wilmington, North Carolina. Three years later, she remains angry and alienated from her parents, especially her father… until her mother decides it would be in everyone’s best interest if she spent the summer in Wilmington with him. Ronnie’s father, a former concert pianist and teacher, is living a quiet life in the beach town, immersed in creating a work of art that will become the centerpiece of a local church. The tale that unfolds is an unforgettable story about love in its myriad forms – first love, the love between parents and children – that demonstrates, as only a Nicholas Sparks novel can, the many ways that deeply felt relationships can break our hearts… and heal them. 

That Day I Will Remember...

It felt like yesterday when I last updated my blog with an exciting post regarding the 1st Ramadhan. Without even realizing it, time indeed flies. Muslims are within the last three days of Ramadhan.

There I was all by myself, supplicating earnestly in my du'a, praying that Allah allows me to reach yet another Ramadhan next year. There is no guarantee though. As one becomes more uncertain as to whether he/she gets to live for yet another day. We all know that death can come to us at any point of time and without any preceding signs. This remind me of what happened last week.

19 Ramadhan 1431H

My heart wrenched with sheer sadness having heard that my grandmother (we all call her embah) has passed on. I received the news just after my E.M exam. Shocked, but quickly gripped my spirit between sadness and relief. There I was at a corner inside my room, wiping over my tears. For such loss, never forget to say "Innalillahi wainna ilaihi rojiuun', reminding ourselves that we all belong to Allah and it is to Him indeed that we shall return.

Embah peacefully sighed her last breath at about 2:30pm on the 19th of Ramadhan. May Allah bestow His bless upon her.

Farewell my dear grandma, rest in peace until the day we all shall meet again.

In life, there will definitely be a day when you might fall down. You cried because you have a cut on your knee, or that the ankle is bruising up. But it isn't the injury or the nature in which you fell that matters, but it is how you get up from it.

And that, is the character of STRENGTH. To get up, when you have fallen down. To cry over something that saddens you is a mercy which Allah puts in the hearts of His servants. And verily Allah shows mercy to those of His servants who are merciful. InshaAllah.

Because of You...

It's 6.14 pm on Sunday the 9th of May. Today equal Sunday equal to Mother's Day. So many words to write... and thoughts to ponder... and emotions to feel... and appreciation to my most beloved, dearly Mak... but so little time. As I wrote this quick, short and brief post, I knew that I would not have enough credit to call my mom and speak for hours. What kind of daughter am I. The time is tik toking in its own rhythm, and I still haven't call Mak and wish her Happy Mother's Day. Ok, InsyaAllah after maghrib prayer I will make a what so called i-miss-you-mak-and-did-you-miss-me?-and-terpaksa cakap laju-laju sebab kredit nak habis ni mak-kind of call. Takpe mak, nanti balik rumah kita chit-chatting lama-lama k? InsyaAllah.

Hmm... for the past few days, my life is like a tenacious roller coaster ride. It's kind of miserable. The hiatus does come justified, believe me. It's been busy. "Lucky" me and my teammates to be the first group to present the case study. Congrats!! After hours of brain storming, the solution for the case is almost complete (at least from what alleged to be called Mechatronics student who studied economics, point of view). To my standard, it is done. Though we are all not sure if it is correctly solved or not. Leave it to my kind lecturer to judge it.

Back to the main interest here, well... to you mom, whom I love infinity much, some things are not meant to be expressed in words for words are merely a verbal interpretation of our thoughts, dreams, and desires. Sometimes… words are just not enough to express that which lies in the heart. Even so… in a flawed and imperfect explanation… thank you for supplicating me with enough protection and love. Thank you for giving me the strength, courage and willpower to stride through my tests, even though I appear my weakest, most timid and inept. May Allah give you strength, patience, health, happiness, and love. Even without Abah at your side, but in my eyes, Mak is always special. You will always be a perfect beautiful mother. I love you from the day I was born, and will always love you till the day of my final breath. If I go before you do, may we met again in the Jannah. InsyaAllah.

Mak,
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have left.

Mak and Dik Amal (1994)

Till then, Wassalam.
Peace ^^

i am so in the middle of confusion

My phone rang yesterday, and I smiled as I saw my darling sister's phone number appearing on my mobile screen.

"Salam sis, what's up?" I said as I answered the phone.

"W'salam, nothing much, just wanna ask you when are you going to come back, is it this Friday?", she replied .

And so the conversation went on for about ten minutes. After I hung up the mobile phone, I felt so extremely sad. My kak long and the gang will be back this coming Friday. And they are planning to spend this weekend at the beach, PD, with the whole family, together with Abg Pae, his wife and little Khalif. As far as I can remember, it had been such a long time we didn't go for a vacation, especially with everyone present.

But then, human can always plan, and at the end of the day, Allah will decide the best for us all. Eventually, the time for the vacation was clashed with another program that needs my attendance. And of course, it had been my responsibility to attend the program since everything had been scheduled in advance. I just can't withdraw at the very last minute.

But..there is always but..it seems that I've made up my mind, while there are billion of neurons in my brain interacting with each other, struggling to come out with the best solution my brain can offer. It made me stressed, depressed and many other related term suitable in this case.

All I can think at this particular period of time are the faces of my darling niece and nephews. I remember the day when I was in my sister's home, when my one and a half year old niece was playing with me, she was all over me, climbing my back, resting her head on my shoulder, sitting on my lap and was also doing some "talking" with me, and I just nod my head and pretend that I do understand every single meaning of her word, which I'm not. The point here is, I am missing my three rangers that I want to fly over their home, which is impossible.

three rangers in action~

But life.. as complicated as it looks, must goes on. I believe that if Allah wants me to meet them, I will meet them no matter what it takes, and if not, there will always be next time. InsyaAllah~

I always remember the beautiful words of Rumi (221-283 AH), which I read from one of my favourite book, it goes;

" You are so weak. Give up to grace. The ocean takes care of each wave till it gets to shore."

Something to ponder about!!

Till then, ROGER AND OUT.
Wassalam~

story of the first nephew

dedicated to:
khalif murtaza khan bin mohd faiz

may you be bless by Allah
with Iman and Islam
with love that will never ends
with health and happiness...

from:
your aunt that will give you never ending protection and love, insyaAllah...

addicted to: air crash investigation - hanging by a thread