Wednesday, December 16, 2009

i am so in the middle of confusion

My phone rang yesterday, and I smiled as I saw my darling sister's phone number appearing on my mobile screen.

"Salam sis, what's up?" I said as I answered the phone.

"W'salam, nothing much, just wanna ask you when are you going to come back, is it this Friday?", she replied .

And so the conversation went on for about ten minutes. After I hung up the mobile phone, I felt so extremely sad. My kak long and the gang will be back this coming Friday. And they are planning to spend this weekend at the beach, PD, with the whole family, together with Abg Pae, his wife and little Khalif. As far as I can remember, it had been such a long time we didn't go for a vacation, especially with everyone present.

But then, human can always plan, and at the end of the day, Allah will decide the best for us all. Eventually, the time for the vacation was clashed with another program that needs my attendance. And of course, it had been my responsibility to attend the program since everything had been scheduled in advance. I just can't withdraw at the very last minute.

But..there is always seems that I've made up my mind, while there are billion of neurons in my brain interacting with each other, struggling to come out with the best solution my brain can offer. It made me stressed, depressed and many other related term suitable in this case.

All I can think at this particular period of time are the faces of my darling niece and nephews. I remember the day when I was in my sister's home, when my one and a half year old niece was playing with me, she was all over me, climbing my back, resting her head on my shoulder, sitting on my lap and was also doing some "talking" with me, and I just nod my head and pretend that I do understand every single meaning of her word, which I'm not. The point here is, I am missing my three rangers that I want to fly over their home, which is impossible.

three rangers in action~

But life.. as complicated as it looks, must goes on. I believe that if Allah wants me to meet them, I will meet them no matter what it takes, and if not, there will always be next time. InsyaAllah~

I always remember the beautiful words of Rumi (221-283 AH), which I read from one of my favourite book, it goes;

" You are so weak. Give up to grace. The ocean takes care of each wave till it gets to shore."

Something to ponder about!!

Till then, ROGER AND OUT.