Sunday, May 9, 2010

Because of You...

It's 6.14 pm on Sunday the 9th of May. Today equal Sunday equal to Mother's Day. So many words to write... and thoughts to ponder... and emotions to feel... and appreciation to my most beloved, dearly Mak... but so little time. As I wrote this quick, short and brief post, I knew that I would not have enough credit to call my mom and speak for hours. What kind of daughter am I. The time is tik toking in its own rhythm, and I still haven't call Mak and wish her Happy Mother's Day. Ok, InsyaAllah after maghrib prayer I will make a what so called i-miss-you-mak-and-did-you-miss-me?-and-terpaksa cakap laju-laju sebab kredit nak habis ni mak-kind of call. Takpe mak, nanti balik rumah kita chit-chatting lama-lama k? InsyaAllah.

Hmm... for the past few days, my life is like a tenacious roller coaster ride. It's kind of miserable. The hiatus does come justified, believe me. It's been busy. "Lucky" me and my teammates to be the first group to present the case study. Congrats!! After hours of brain storming, the solution for the case is almost complete (at least from what alleged to be called Mechatronics student who studied economics, point of view). To my standard, it is done. Though we are all not sure if it is correctly solved or not. Leave it to my kind lecturer to judge it.

Back to the main interest here, well... to you mom, whom I love infinity much, some things are not meant to be expressed in words for words are merely a verbal interpretation of our thoughts, dreams, and desires. Sometimes… words are just not enough to express that which lies in the heart. Even so… in a flawed and imperfect explanation… thank you for supplicating me with enough protection and love. Thank you for giving me the strength, courage and willpower to stride through my tests, even though I appear my weakest, most timid and inept. May Allah give you strength, patience, health, happiness, and love. Even without Abah at your side, but in my eyes, Mak is always special. You will always be a perfect beautiful mother. I love you from the day I was born, and will always love you till the day of my final breath. If I go before you do, may we met again in the Jannah. InsyaAllah.

You'll never know how
strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have left.

Mak and Dik Amal (1994)

Till then, Wassalam.
Peace ^^

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Kembali ke Asal

Rasa seperti nak terjun ke dalam lumpur dan main dengan pasir sungai dan pantai. Rasa seperti nak masuk ke hutan dan mendengar bunyi cengkerik, unggas mahupun angin yang berdesir. Rasa seperti nak terbang ke bulan dan melihat bumi dari sudut pandangan bulan. Semua kerana rindunya saya pada damai alam, damai desa, damai malam, damainya kembali ke asal, asal yang fitrah.

Semalam saya diuji, hari ini juga pasti, setiap hari adalah ujian. Kerana kita hamba maka kita layak diuji. Kerana ujian-ujian inilah saya ingin kembali ke asal, asal pada Pencipta, juga bonda dan damai desa. Kerana generasi yang kembali ke asal itu lebih sedar diri. Sedar akan asal usulnya.

Hanya dengan berlalunya waktu, maka hikmah setiap ujian itu dapat dirasa. Semoga Allah kuatkan hati-hati hambaNya yang berjuang dijalanNya, menuntut ilmu keranaNya, dan hidup mati dijalanNya.


The seven heavens and the earth and whatever is in them exalt Him. And there is not a thing except that it exalts [ Allah ] by His praise, but you do not understand their [way of] exalting. Indeed, He is ever Forbearing and Forgiving.

Quran 17: 44