Grateful for Everything.

The Day I Couldn't Sleep.

It’s almost 3 am on June 25th but the eyes are still wide open. I used to fall asleep effortlessly, as fast as five minutes or lesser than that. I found it bizarre if any of my friends said that they have sleep disorder. I said it was weird. All you have to do is lie down and within minutes, or even seconds, you are in your dreamland. But today marked the day I raised the white flag. It can happen to anyone. I believe this is happening due to what happen since I got back from work at 6.15 pm, June 24th.

Chronicles of sleep disorder.

6.15pm: Arrived home, safe and sound. Pray. Watching Dapur Selebriti (alert: it made you famish like seriously). Watching Naruto. Eating everything edible.

7.45pm: After Maghrib, instead of taking shower and have a good chat with Kak Ija, the housemate, like I regularly do, instead of doing that, I am doing sleeping. It was a good four hours. Sleep like a log.

12.00pm: Like falling from a roller coaster ride, I am awake with a puzzle face. I dream of something I can’t really remember. But one second I feel like falling from somewhere, another second I am fully awake. It was just a dream. It took seconds to bring myself into reality. I was surprise with the condition of the room and wondering who the owner of this chaotic room is.

12.15pm: The broom in one hand and piles of clothes in another. Cleaning, sweeping and doing the laundry for good reason. In a flash, the room is in its best and liveable state. Relieve.

12.30pm: Taking a good long bath. Bathing and singing made a good combination. What so called hidden talent. Do not try this at home.

1.15am: Feel refreshed and am ready for prayer. Do some self reflection and some thinking of everything that have happened and lesson behind every little occurrence, and some of future thinking too.

1.45am: Too hungry and was looking for something to eat. End up eating the whole packet of crackers and two slice of bread with curry that Kak Ija made for dinner. Alhamdulillah.

2.00am: The mind is ready for bed yet the eyes are not. Last resort, continue reading THE LAST LECTURE by Randy Pausch. I was inspired by the story in Chapter 11: The Happiest Place on Earth, page 51. Here’s a quote;

In 1969, when I was eight years old, my family went on a cross-country trip to Disneyland. It was an absolute quest. And once we got there, I was just in awe. It was the coolest environment I’d ever been in.

As I stood in line with all the other kids, all I could think was “I can’t wait to make stuff like this!”

Two decades later, when I got my PhD in computer science from Carnegie Mellon, I thought that made me infinitely qualified to do anything, so I dashed off my letters of application to Walt Disney Imagineering. And they sent me some of the nicest go-to-hell letters I’d ever received. They said they had reviewed my application, and they did not have “any positions which require your particular qualifications.”

Nothing? This is a company famous for hiring armies of people to sweep the streets! Disney had nothing for me? Not even a broom?

So that was a setback. But I kept my mantra in mind: The brick walls are there for a reason. They’re not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

Pheww! I can’t believe that I was typing the whole sentences. How diligent is that? But seriously, I am touched. Every word in this book made me reflect, and laugh, and sad, and happy, and grateful, and in lieu of it all, inspired. And of course, Randy ended up being allowed to join the Disney team. And as fantasy comes true, he was Disney Imagineer.

Well, back to reality. For the countless time I kept looking at the clock. An hour has passed. Thus far, I am not sleepy at all, but guess that I have to stop writing. I have to be at Shah Alam KTM station latest by 8 in the morning tomorrow, I mean today. Good night everybody! Or good morning!

Untuk Kawan Dari Kawam

This is specially for you, whose name is not mentioned, but you’ll know this is for you. To you sis, friend, university mate, course mate, classmate, sahabat, kawan, teman, I would say “Congratulation in advance!” Last nite conversation was ruined. Well, you know my phone’s behaviour. Always running out of battery. Tanpa mengira orang tu tengah excited nak dengar cerita ke apa. Main mati je tanpa toleransi. Sigh. Btw I know this news is inevitably coming, but it never fails to catch me by surprise. Somehow I reminiscing our conversation with one of our respected lecturer’s student, yang foreigner tu, mesti ingat kan? Yang siap bagi advice lagi kat kita dua orang on the way back to campus. Alhamdulillah finally it’s really comes true. I’m pretty much sure that you will change your status before me. Hehe... I’m pleased and glad and contented and happy and yang sewaktu dengannya. Like seriously. I am excited for you. Cewah, orang lain yang nak ehem ehem... kita pulak yang nak excited. So what kan? ;)

Waiting for real good news soooon... when everything is plan and fix. Pada waktu tu baru boleh share dengan semua geng kita. Baru seronok. Again terlebih excited. Maafkan. Last but by no means least, barakallahu fik! Rasa nak nyanyi lagu Maher Zain pulak, yang tajuk dia Barakallah.

p.s: Semuanya generally written kan? I don’t think anyone can tell. The secret is safe. This post is written last night right after our last conversation yang unexpectedly stopped. Tapi pagi ni baru nak publish. During office hour lagi. Selamba je. ;)

Buku tentang hidup. Random but...

Ada lima buku kesemuanya. Blink – Malcom Gladwell. The Gift – Cecilia Ahern. The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett. The Last Lecture – Randy Pausch dan satu-satunya novel yang dibeli kerana kawan, Contengan Jalanan – Hlovate. Tak tahu nak baca yang mana dulu. Tapi akhirnya Contengan Jalanan juga dicapai. Main pilih je. Random. Novel Contengan Jalanan tu baru saja habis dibacanya. Part I – Fend 262 muka surat disambung terus part II – K² 291 muka surat. Total 453 muka surat. Dia memang budak engine, atau engineering nama panjangnya. Kalau boleh semua mesti nak di calculate. Kononnya. Kalau tak kerana weekendyang maknanya tak perlu kerja, mana mungkin nak sentuh buku. Diluar bilik kakak-kakakhousemate masih lagi layan Mentor final Musim 5. Dibiarkan.

Jarang dia nak buat review tentang buku. Tapi buku yang satu ni memang lain. Katanya buku tentang hidup. Tentang pengalaman perjalanan mencari Tuhan. Watak-watak utama yang menghidupkan cerita; Fend, K², Chad, Aidid. Tadi banyak idea nak review fasal buku ni. Banyak yang nak dihuraikan. Tiba-tiba blank. Mungkin sebaik-baik review adalah; baca sendiri dan buat review sendiri. Sebab buku yang sama, membawa makna dan erti yang berbeza, bagi pembaca yang berbeza. Bagi dia, dia betul-betul teringatkan adik lelaki yang sorang tu. Yang minatnya juga pada muzik dan jamming. Tapi belajar Aircraft Engineering. Walaupun belajar Aircraft Engineering, tapi hati dan jiwa tetap setia dengan gitar dan band yang ditubuhkannya entah sejak bila. Since 2000 something pastinya. Memang dia berjiwa muzik dan skate. Tapi...

Tapi... janganlah kerana passion yang dua itu kita skip tanggungjawab yang lima waktu tu. Itu ignorance namanya. Like seriously. Ni mulalah dia nak bagi nasihat panjang lebar kat adik sendiri. Tanpa dipinta. Saja nak bagi advice free. Teringat tagline saifulislam.com; erti hidup pada memberi.

My dear bro, whose name is not mentioned,

The man who decided to change on the 12^th hour dies on the 11^th. Meminjam bait-bait kata dari Contengan Jalanan. Ayat ni momentous . Carrying great weight. Indeed, berfikirlah. Tak jadi akhirnya nak positive mumbling dengan panjang lebar sebab esok dah Isnin. Monday means mayday. It is the toughest day. Undeniably, unquestionably tough. Juga bermakna kena dapat tidur yang cukup untuk mengharungi hari yang kurang seronok nak dibanding dengan hari Jumaat. To you bro, you are indeed very smart. Think sensibly, act wisely. Always. Not sometime. Not for a moment or two.

Pesanan mesra dari Sis lebih pada untuk diri sendiri sebenarnya. Again, the man who decided to change on the 12^th hour dies on the 11^th. Semoga kita semua sempat change on the 8^th hour, or 9^th hour, or 10^th hour, or 10.30^th hour, or to be exact, before our last breath. Cause at the end, life is too short. So live, learn.

Talking is nothing, doing is something. – Hlovate.

p.s: semakin banyak pulak manglish yang digunakan. sigh.

p.s.s: 262+291 equal 553, actually. heh ;)

A Day With Some Reflection

I found myself writing this post during office hour. Definitely not one noble attitude, of course. But I’ve finished the entire task for today and eventually hoping for some more. But sadly, no other task for today, yet it is inevitable. I don’t really have a specific subject, so I’m just gonna write whatever I feel like writing.

FRIENDS

Well, I just missed my friends so much that I feel like crying my heart out whenever I think of them. Truth is I love every single one of them very dearly. I feel blessed to have them in my life. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, faults and fights, rants and arguments, even smiles and laughs. I’m teaching myself to appreciate friends and family every single day. How sweet is that. Haha.. self praising. Now I feel like throwing up ;)

TRAINEE

Hmm... how should I say this? It’s not like the training is tough, yet I keep counting the remaining days of this industrial training. Trying to be a nonchalant lady here, I act tough and strong. But deep inside my heart, I feel so stress and hassle. Nothing like scathed by physical means, it’s just that women’s are most susceptible to affairs of the heart, or is it just me? Maybe.

THANK YOU

Mak, abah, siblings, classmates, roommates, lab mates, all the mates in the world, my imaginary friend ah chong (sounded like a psycho already), lecturers, and relatives, thank you is the least I can say. Really really thank you. For the laugh and good time, for the fun and comfort, for the advice and lesson. But in lieu of it all, for giving me the honour of being part of your life. Hats off to you guys. Salute!